Mr Roboto the magnificent

Mr Roboto the magnificent

The lights dimmed as a man spoke over the loudspeaker..

"In all of times magicicans have amazed millions

david copperfield
*cough fag cough*

david blane
*cough ass bead amateur cough*

criss angel
*cough penis disappearing act with naked women fag cough*

but now the greatest of all magicians"

the final countdown by the band europe would come blaring out of the speakers.

Mr Roboto would jog onto the stage in his wind suit with an eagle stitched to the back. the announcer would take a minute to say his name "Mrrrrrrrrrrrr Robbbbbbboooooottttttttoooooooo Mr Roboto roboto".

Then for the magic. Mega celebrity bruce willis would drive a very expensive Maybach onto the stage. Mr Roboto would begin to try and lift the car over his head. The car would shake and lift slightly off the ground. Mr Roboto would give up his assistants would bring him a towel and a bottled water he would try again. the car would lift even more slightly off the ground. Mr Roboto would turn to the crowd and begin a synchronized clap.

*clap*
*clap*
*clap*

he would try again the car would begin to shake and off the ground it would come. the crowd would OHHH and AHHHHH at the Mr Roboto's power. He would gently place the car on the ground as not to damage it. he would walk away from the car and towards the camera. Mr Roboto would stop snap his fingers and the expensive car would explode. The deaf children inside would probably all burn to death.

but who ever said magic was without danger was probably not a magician.

Mr Roboto's immediate rise to romantic novel superstar Vol. 1

Mr Roboto's immediate rise to romantic novel superstar Vol. 1

"Who needs hard work, when you look like me"----Mr Roboto at the 2001 Mr Olympia.

The true story of how an austrian immigrant became posterboy for Romantic Novel covers.

Mr Roboto was born into a family of four. His arrival was not expected, nor wanted. Times were tough for this now family of five. The Austrian economy had hit a low point and jobs were becoming hard to come by. By the time Mr Roboto reached the age of 10 he had quit school to follow his father into the steel mill. Mr Roboto quickly proved to be the best steel mill worker at 11 years of age. With his massive strength and his drop dead good looks steel milling came easy to him.

By age 12, Mr Roboto was promoted to steel mill team captain. This promotion came as a suprise to no one. Except to Mr Roboto's father who thought he was in line for the promotion. It came as an even bigger suprise to find that his son had fired him. Needless to say the next days dinner was tense to say the least. After Mr Roboto made a comment "wow mom if dad could steel mill half as good as you could cook, maybe i wouldn't have fired him." Mr Roboto's father enraged began screaming at Mr Roboto. This shocked Mr Roboto. A frightened 12 year old Mr Roboto ran to his room packed his bags and climbed out the window. Mr Roboto caught a bus to the big city.

When Mr Roboto arrived in the big city he stuck out like a sore thumb. Mr Roboto with nowhere to stay found an alley and slept behind a dumpster. In the morning Mr Roboto walked around town making job applications. This was not the rural austria Mr Roboto was accustomed to. He could no longer get a job on his stunning good looks, he needed to have a skill. Thats when Mr Roboto saw it in big bold print was a sign "Models Needed, No skill Required". MR Roboto applied quickly took some photos he would regret years later and was immediately hired.

Mr Roboto rose like a fat persons blood pressure when the oscar meyer weinermobile visits there town. The 13 year old was Austria's top model photos of Mr Roboto in his underwear wearing raybans were on buildings, photos of the 13 year old smoking cigarettes were on buses. He was on magazine covers, daytime talk shows, paparrazzi's followed him incessantly. Mr Roboto was rich and famous when the great austrian war happened. His agent urged him to leave the country but Mr Roboto stayed. He was drafted and forced to fight.

At age 14 Mr Roboto began a bloody chapter of his life, he rarely talked about. Mr Roboto or "the butcher" as they called him in the austrian army, was a cook. He did not fire a shot in the army but did kill 178 enemy soldiers when his platoon was suprise attacked. All were asleep except Mr Roboto who had begun to prepare his special blue berry pancakes. Mr Roboto heard a noise in the woods. Upon further examintation Mr Roboto saw enemy soldiers. Mr Roboto charged the enemy soldiers snapping necks and punching through chests. When the sun rose an exhausted bloody Mr Roboto served the 1,200 soldiers in his platoon pancakes on time. When the enemy saw the bloody corpses of their comrades they surrendered.

Mr Roboto tired of austria boarded a ship to america. He arrived two days before his 15th birthday and was immediately picked up by the top modeling agency in america.